My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
Anonymous said: why do girls go to the bathroom together
all of the above
- to keep out the creepers trying to sneak a peak into the girl bathroom while your peeing
- to have a feeling of security
- to have a place to talk where the boys can’t hear
- to have someone to help with either your hair, outfit or makeup
- to gossip in safety
- to cry in safety
- to talk about the hottie in your algebra class
- to get away from the forever judging society filled with antifeminists for a few moments
- to tell each other you look like sluts and need to tone down the cat eye and pull up your shirt without the chance of other people hearing
- to tell a secret
- possibly because you both have to go to the bathroom
Also to rap battle
To sacrifice the males
To have lesbian sex
To open the Chamber of Secrets
And people laugh when I tell them women are still invisible in this world.
Things I did not know, but should.
This is a post that might save a life.
My mom worked for 25 years as an ER nurse and is convinced that a lot of women die simply because folks only know heart attack symptoms that occur in males.
Society thinks our bodies are so scandalous that it’s better to put our lives at risk than to show us how to stay safe
A friend of mine was having a cardiac episode recently, and it began with jaw pain. I had never heard of this before, and god help us, she had to explain to me how cardiac events present in women WHILE HAVING ONE. (I didn’t disbelieve her, I just had idea what the jaw pain meant.)
She is fine now. But if your heart is failing, I suspect you have better things to do than explain to your slow but well-meaning friend the symptoms of a heart attack in women.
fun fact: “nolo” is latin for “do not want” so if someone says yolo you can say nolo and they’ll think its just a stupid comeback but in all actuality you’re speaking latin which is classy as shit so haha the jokes on them
and it means “(you’re) embarrassing” in finnish so it’s double joke on them
my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said “i’m going to die” and drank the whole thing
i knew a guy who brewed his instant coffee with monster instead of water. three cups in two hours. i think he ascended to the astral realm
the survivability of the human race never ceases to amaze me